I am writing this article based on my experiences and discussion with some of my friends. It is disturbing for me that in today’s era where modernity has affected every aspect of life, the bond of religion and caste in marriage is still intact with bigotry.
It has been estimated that more than 90% of marriages in India, beyond the distinction of city and village, are decided by parents and are of the same caste.
People need to change their mindset
The first reason is that the people who want to get married, they themselves have not changed their mindset. Certainly it is not easy, but when they themselves are not ready for any internal change, then how will they have the courage to break the stereotypes of family and society? Even educated young men and young people have conservative views about marriage.
Possibly due to this, there are biases from family and society. It is also a failure of his education.
Children should have the freedom to manage themselves
The second reason is for parents to see the life of their children like a management work, they do not hide any ill-will in this, but if they have to manage the life of an adult person then they should do it themselves. The role of a parent can be that of an advisor, but if they want to become executive directors in the lives of their children, then it would be an injustice.
Possibly in the view of parents marrying their offspring in the same caste and familiar family may retain some degree of control over their lives. Patriarchy has a great influence in this. This is the third and biggest reason, which becomes a hindrance in the way of inter-caste marriages.
In the case of women, the situation is worse, their identity, social status, sexuality, even their personality as if they are mortgaged to the father or the husband.
Social fear remains today
It should be said unfortunate that our sociality is based on hypocrisy, where people are discriminated from birth, there can be a habit of justice and harmony. To say, Vasudhaiva is the slogan of Kutumbakam but in reality there are sub-castes among castes as well.
It is clear that there is no sociality in our society and that is why there is social fear
Fear of boycott, violence and loss of pseudo-honor. If the son intermarried, there is a fear of a bottleneck in the daughter’s marriage. What sociality is it to disrespect people on the basis of rational thinking and stereotypes of their election?
Cultural push from inter-caste marriages
The fifth and the last reason is cultural shock, because our sociality is limited by sect and caste, so the majority society neither increases its identity nor outside its caste or its caste. In such a situation, cultural sensibilities are hurt if someone in the family marries.
Then, whether it is the dress of a newly married woman or a man, the manner of speech, the eating and eating, it kills everything. The woman also has to bear this sting more.
In the end, it can be said that the question of inter-caste marriage is linked to the transformation of our internal, social, and political consciousness.
At one level, this question is a simple question of two people choosing to live together, but on going deeper it shows that there are many revolutions in it.